I used to love the holidays. I feel like anymore they're just another day. I have lost a huge sense of caring and compassion and I really hope it comes back when little man is born. I am under an immense amount of stress and all I want is to spend days in bed and asleep. Kyle of course is being wonderful. Rubbing my back, feet and legs, and he even took me out to eat at Denny's last night. I just cannot get my mind right anymore. I'm scared for the fact that I am sad. It is absolutely insane to think that there are 98 days left of this, at least. I am trying to be happy about him coming and I'm trying to be thankful that I have him and Kyle and the booboo puppy. My parents are for the most part wonderful and Kyles parents too. I just can't wrap my mind around the horrible tearing apart my heart feels anymore.
I go to the doctor right after thanksgiving. I'm really ready to have all the holidays over and just be back to my normal self.
but what was once normal never will be again.
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