Time flies by when you're having fun. I have been enjoying being pregnant and it has made me miss a few things I guess. I haven't gone out to parties with friends or done any of the stupid stuff I would normally do. I have become even more responsible. Kyle has grown a lot as well. For a 21 year old guy, I know it can't be easy to think about the fact that life is kind of done. There are no frat parties for dads. But by the grace of God I am very blessed in the fact that I have a guy that would rather come home to me sober and doesn't drink or run around. I wouldn't trade him for anything.
Today was slightly rough. Mentally, I'm not strong enough to handle everything piling up. Today was one of those days I feel nothing I can do is right and that no matter how hard I try, I'll never be good enough. People treat me as if we planned to get pregnant or got pregnant just to stay together. This baby was and still is a huge surprise. But he is a miracle that I would never change. I would change the circumstances because I'd rather have our own place, have a decent job making pretty good money, and even more so, I'd rather be married. But none if those things are true. We've been engaged for over a year and a half. We live with his parents. And I wait tables. But Kellen is coming into our lives in February ready or not. I know that he is the biggest blessing we could ever be blessed with.
Today I was sitting doing homework and Kellen kicked my stomach and I could see it move. I took a video and had to send it straight to Kyle! He was excited! I think we are starting to get more excited but being young and ill prepared is difficult. :/
We need sanity and serenity in a world where we live in strife. :/
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